Who do you know who is even thinking of getting a divorce?

Ask most people what it is like to go through a divorce and chances are you will hear a litany of horror stories about high legal costs, unfair results in the court and lawyers who don't care about their own clients. Splitting up a family and the assets that have been collected during a marriage is probably one of the most emotional transitions a person can go through. To add insult to injury by being taken advantage of by the legal system and those who make a living off the suffering of others only exacerbates the bad feelings between a couple. Because of the high cost of legal assistance, it is more important than ever to make sure the lawyer you work with has your best interests at heart and is not taking unnesessary steps so that they can profit by billing more hours to your account. If there are children involved it is crucial that the parents walk away from the divorce process with the ability to coparent and that is hard to do after a long, bloody adversarial process. Meeting a lawyer who takes pride in resolving a family law matter as quickly, inexpensively and with as little blood shed as possible is unusual. But then I am that unusual attorney. After getting my Bachelors in Film and TV production from one of the most prestigeous film schools in the country, New York University, I decided to go to graduate school so that I could get a Masters in Special Education, specializing in teaching severely emotionally disturbed children. The idea was to enhance my credibility so that I could get grants to make a documentary exposing the conditions in state mental institutions. I had been a volunteer at Trenton State Psychiatric Hospital and had been horrified at the conditions in which the children lived. It was an experience that haunts me to this day. Carter was President at the time and there was a lot of money for the arts in his budget. By the time I finished doing my student teaching at Manhattan State Psychiatric Hospital and had picked up my Masters degree, Reagan was President and Jesse Helms was already trying to kill off funding for Public TV and other equally "subversive" artistic endeavors. I went to work for a famous video artist and didn't return to teaching until the mid 1980s. After singing in a band, doing Persian catering and dating the music editor of the Soho Weekly News, which meant hanging out at the Dakota with Yoko Ono and being on every nightclub's guest list, I went back to teaching. I found a homeless 12 year old orphan who was in one of my classes and for the next 10 years, Michael Matta was my son. The other teachers at school told me I was crazy to let this child move into my home. My mother, Judge Barbara Jean Johnson, always concerned with liability, warned me about taking on a child like Michael. Never one to reign in my heart, I took care of Michael until he died of AIDS 10 years later. In 1990 my husband Eliot and I, moved from New York City to this area. I taught at a private residential facility for severely disturbed boys and then later at California School in Vista. At the end of the school year my principal asked who I worked for, I answered that I worked for the students and their parents. My boss replied, "Wrong answer, you work for Vista Unified School District and we didn't hire you to be a child advocate." He told me that I would not get tenure. That night I, an only child of people who can afford me, called my mother in Pasadena to tell her what happened and to let her know I wanted to go to law school. Mom, without hesitation said, "Go, I'll pay." Within months I had been accepted to the University of San Diego's law school. My mother had warned me not to go into family law. Before being appointed to the bench, my mom had practiced in that field and knew the emotional toil placed on concientious family law practitioners. She had been a master teacher for the University of Southern California before going to law school and upon being made a judge was immediately assigned to juvenile court, hearing only cases where children had been abused by their parents. She wanted me to pursue a career in entertainment law, negotiating contracts and making deals or maybe a nice clean estate planning practice where I could at least protect my own assets. While at USD, I was the Editor in Chief of the law school newspaper, interviewing Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam and stiring up a lot of controversy at my Catholic campus by not sticking to the party line regarding sensitive issues. I turned up the heat so much while at USD that the Union Tribune twice did stories on situations I was in the center of. Shaking up the status quo is my mission in life and now I am practicing law in my own fashion. I am determined to keep my clients out of court because I think litigation is the most inefficient, expensive and emotionally upsetting way to resolve disputes. After studying mediation in law school and being certified through Lifeline, I was convinced that rational people of good will can benefit so greatly by mediating disputes that it is foolish to cast your fate to the courts. Always wanting to structure win/win deals, I love to work with couples in an informal and fair fashion without the interference of other lawyers and being stifled by court procedures. I have an excellent grasp of getting to everyone's bottom line and stucturing a deal that is equitable to all involved. I stopped taking private cases about 3 years ago and only do divorce mediation. I have 100% track record. Every could who has ever worked with me has come to a deal. I tell clients that they must cooperate with the other parent, do what is in the child's best interst and let go of their own emotional baggage so they can effectively raise their children together. Most of us don't usually associate truth, ethics and lawyers. But then what can you expect from an ex teacher, trained to help kids "calm down, get along, behave themselves and share." If you know anyone who is even thinking of getting a divorce, please encourage them to look at my website: www.divorce-inaday.com